


Tennis

by AuroraStellarum



Series: Kathryn Janeway's Life Story [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: And school, Counseling, Crush, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Flirting, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Perfectionism, Reading books at lunch, School, Smart Kids, Tennis, Trigonometry, Young Love, flirting via math, math class, probably minor ones, socially awkward individuals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-08 12:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraStellarum/pseuds/AuroraStellarum
Summary: The story of what happened that time Janeway walked home 12km in the rain after a tennis match...Set after 'Camping', but could easily stand on its own.Rated T for mental health.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: this chapter includes references to someone who might have anxiety/depression

_//Kathryn Janeway, age 12. Counseling record, stardate 29352.48_  
KATHRYN: They insisted on putting me in counseling for this, despite all my protests. So I’ll tell you the short version: I lost a tennis match, missed the ride, so walked 7 kilometers home.  
COUNSELOR: What were you feeling at the time?  
KATHRYN: Frustrated I suppose. Disappointed in myself.  
COUNSELOR: Why were you analyzing the match so much you missed the transport back?  
KATHRYN: Erm, I was.. I don’t want to talk about it.  
COUNSELOR: That’s fine. What were you thinking when you decided to walk home instead of send a message to your parents, despite the storm?  
KATHRYN: It was my fault. I missed the ride, and I was old enough to get home myself.  
COUNSELOR: So it was a matter of personal pride?  
KATHRYN: Yes I suppose so.  
COUNSELOR: Besides the tennis match, what else were you doing that day?  
KATHRYN: I was studying physics and nebulae.  
COUNSELOR: Was that for school?  
KATHRYN: No, ‘course not. Dad told me the Academy entrance exam spends a while on quantum mechanics, and I happen to like astronomy for myself.  
COUNSELOR: You’re planning to go to Starfleet Academy?  
KATHRYN: Yes. I’ve wanted to forever.  
COUNSELOR: How come you were at the tennis match that day?  
KATHRYN: It was a school game. I had to be there.  
COUNSELOR: Given the choice, would you have gone of your own volition?  
KATHRYN: I mean… I probably would have stayed in bed reading and studying, if there were no consequences to my inaction. I mean, the exercise is good for me, so, probably, yeah. I do have a bit of a competitive side.  
COUNSELOR: Did you want to be there?  
KATHRYN: …yes.  
COUNSELOR: That’s all for today.  
KATHRYN: Excellent.

 

***  
“Kathryn, you know it doesn’t do you any good to lie to the counselors,” said her father.  
“It’s better than the alternative.” Kathryn stared out her window at the stars and the farms.  
“You can’t keep hiding things forever.”  
“What else am I supposed to do?”  
“Tell the truth. If you do decide to join Starfleet, some pretty rough things are going to happen to you. You can’t lie like this.”  
“It’s a normal stage in the process, to deny what happened. They won’t expect anything else.”  
“You’ve been reading about the subject, haven’t you?”  
“What else was I supposed to do going into an unfamiliar situation?” “I never would have expected anything less.” Edward walked up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It was an action he had taken many times back when he was in command of his own ship. Something for when one of your command crew - your family - was upset. He always thought he would be more intimate with his family, but he suspected that wasn’t what Kathryn needed at the moment. Perhaps later.  
She looked over at him. “What if I told you I was testing her responses to lies as a proxy to see how well she was doing her job?”  
He met her gaze. “I would remind you about ethical protocols for experiments involving humans.”  
She snorted. “Aaand that would be dad, always looking at the regulations. Did you ever even go to one board of inquiry?”  
“You know I managed to avoid being summoned. I do regret playing it safe at times… I wonder if I could have done more good in the world if I had trusted my gut. Kathryn, remember the rules exist to stop the bad, not the good; if you have to bend a rule for good, do it. If you have to break a rule to do good, make sure you have justification, but do it. Even if the courts don’t agree with you, you still saved lives. Besides, would you be able to live with yourself if you didn’t?”  
“I know. Ethics before law. If I ever do get in trouble following that advice, would you show up at my court martial?”  
“Of course. I would show up to watch you get acquitted.”  
“Daadddd.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why was Kathryn so concerned about the tennis match? Could it be.. a crush?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did decide to write a second chapter. Don't expect updates to be this quick in the future.

> _Dear Diary,_  
> 
> _Nobody else knows this. Not the counselors, not my father. I suppose the real reason I walked home was because my crush, Laura, would see me after I lost. It would be humiliating to have her see me after this already embarrassing event. Now, I suppose this has somewhat backfired on me. I have the compound embarrassment of having to see a counselor and everybody know what happened. The other people on the tennis team of course realized I wasn’t on the transport with them, and it just spiraled from there. Now, my entire school knows._
> 
> _Time for the elephant in the room: the Starfleet psych test. Will they even_ consider _me after that? I mean, I suppose medical records are confidential and it all depends on the test, but still. The uncertainty is killing me. Actually, it’s probably fine. I think it’s just thinking under pressure, right? I’ll tell myself that. After all, dwelling on the incident won’t do me any good. Of course, that doesn’t make it any easier_ not _to. The many failings of the human psyche. After all, we’re not rational creatures. (Good, Kathryn. You’re distracting yourself) While biases make evolutionary sense, they’re rather.. frustrating.. in today’s world._
> 
> _Kathryn_

Kathryn glanced back through her journal entry. It was short - only a page in the journal she had replicated yesterday. Despite the length, it had brought her some relief to acknowledge her feelings. While quite a departure from her usual strategy of pushing everything down, she found it to be beneficial in a way the counseling had not. Perhaps she would bring it up at her next session as an excuse to get out of it, albeit one that was not likely to work. It was still worth a shot. Anything to get out of those two miserable hours. She knew saying everything they wanted to hear would tip them off that she was trying to get out of it, a course of events that would most likely end in them keeping her for longer.

***

Kathryn walked into the school, stealing glances at Laura between steps. She was beautiful. Her dark waves cascaded over her shoulders, creating a brilliant contrast with her bright turquoise shirt. She was beautiful. Beyond that, she was smart - straight As, loved science. What could possibly be better? Taking a breath to return to the current moment, she went to her first period class - stellar geography.

As usual, the work pulled her away from her feelings. There were very few things quite like staring into a holographic star map, staring at the myriad worlds of the Federation. One of them of course was actually being in the stars, an experience she had been lucky to have — having an Admiral for a father did occasionally have its perks.

Before she knew it, it was lunch time, where she could spend the time staring at Laura. She didn’t have any friends in this particular lunch block, as many of her classes had just been accelerated into the next level, leaving her old friends behind. While she knew she should try to socialize, it had never been one of her strengths. Besides, she was quite happy to sit on her own with an astronomy book. Friends would come on their own.

As she was walking out of the lunchroom, Laura walked up to her. Beautiful smart amazing Laura. “How are you feeling about tennis practice this afternoon?” she asked.

Kathryn’s mind was spinning. Laura had talked to her! “Uhh.. fine. There are a few things I need to work on after the game last week. What about you?”

“I’m feeling pretty good. I’ve been working on my serve, and I can’t wait to try it with another person.”

“Yeah. I haven’t had too much time to practice lately. There’s been a lot going on recently.”

“Care to talk about it?”

“Not particularly.” A heavy silence filled the air for a moment.

“Well, um, how’s precalc been treating you?”

“Fine. I actually really like it.”

“Really? Trigonometry has not been my friend recently.”

“That’s funny. It’s one of my favorites.” The pair wandered into a lengthy conversation about math. Kathryn’s nerves fluttered. Clearly Laura _didn’t_ hate her! And quite possibly wanted to be friends!”

“Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow afternoon? I could use the help with our homework.”

“Sure!” The butterflies in her stomach grew more intense. Just then, the two separated, each heading to different classes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably feature Kathryn going over to Laura's. After all, we still don't know how she feels. Was trigonometry just a (not-so) thinly-veiled flirting attempt?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn gears up to meet Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a kinda short chapter, but I think it's necessary as a bridge between the last and the next.

_//Kathryn Janeway, age 12. Counseling record, stardate 29360.27_

COUNSELOR: You had tennis practice yesterday. How did that go?

KATHRYN: Fine, I suppose. I wish I had more time to practice.

COUNSELOR: Could you make more time?

KATHRYN: Not particularly, at least if I still want to have some free time.

COUNSELOR: Free time is important for your mental health. Have you been taking any time to relax?

KATHRYN: I have.

COUNSELOR: How much?

KATHRYN: Usually an hour or two per day.

COUNSELOR: Is it possible that the incident happened because of stress?

KATHRYN: I suppose.

COUNSELOR: What were you feeling at the time?

KATHRYN: Embarrassed. Nervous. When I was walking back I felt a bit of independence.

COUNSELOR: Why were you embarrassed?

KATHRYN: I should have been able to win the match.

COUNSELOR: Sometimes you need to accept that you aren’t perfect.

KATHRYN: You’re right.

COUNSELOR: Is there anything else you’d like to share.

KATHRYN: No.

COUNSELOR: Alright I suppose that’ll be all.

KATHRYN: Thank you.

 

***

Later that night, Kathryn tried to get some rest, but, despite her efforts, thoughts of the time she would spend with Laura tomorrow kept filling her brain. To make matters worse, they were always the versions where she embarrassed herself. Her rational side was fighting it, to no avail.

The next thing she knew, the alarm was going off. She yawned and rolled over. The beeping woke her just enough to make her remember her plans with Laura after school, which gave her the energy to get out of bed. Once she was up, she pulled her favorite clothes out of the closet and threw them on, sending her crumpled pajamas through the refresher. She headed over to the restroom, doing a little bit of makeup before packing her bag for the day.

Once she arrived at school, she looked around for Laura, butterflies intensifying. Seeing that gorgeous hair, she walked over, ostensibly to confirm their plans for the afternoon.

“Hi,” said Laura, a somewhat odd look on her face.

“Hi,” responded Kathryn, fighting down the nerves flaring up in her stomach, “Do you still want me to come over this afternoon?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Laura glanced down at the white tile beneath their feet. “It would be fun to do the work with someone else.”

“Yeah.” Just then, the bell rang, sending them off to separate classes. To her surprise, a bit of something, sadness, regret, she couldn’t quite place it, washed over her. With a breath, she realized it was because she had left Laura.

The two had math together just before lunch. While Kathryn was planning to sit by herself, she was secretly hoping Laura would invite her to her table. When she said nothing, Kathryn went over to her usual spot, another wave of sadness seeping over her.

The rest of the day inched along. After all, she would be seeing Laura after school. Kathryn had to keep reminding herself that Laura did not necessarily share her feelings.

“Kathryn, can you give me two examples of exceptions to the Prime Directive?” asked her Federation History teacher, jerking her out of her reverie.

“Uhh.. compliance with specific orders, like first contact and diplomatic missions, and general distress calls,” she said, recalling the Janeway family’s kitchen table debates.

“Excellent job. Jayna, can you give me another one?”

“The society hails or attacks a Federation citizen.”

Kathryn tuned out of the class discussion. She was at least familiar with all 47 suborders and exceptions to the Prime Directive at her father’s insistence.

The bell rang. Hastily gathering up her stuff, Kathryn went outside, looking for Laura. Naturally, Laura found her first. “Are you ready?” she asked.

“Yep!” said Kathryn, barely able to contain her excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will feature Kathryn and Laura, I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Laura get together, ostensibly to study.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I like the way this came out. It's ok I guess, but this was not easy to write. If you have any suggestions, please please please leave them in the comments.

Laura only lived a kilometer away from their school, so Kathryn and Laura walked to her house. On the one hand, Kathryn was glad for the one-on-one time, but, on the other hand, this was making her feel rather nervous.

“So, Kathryn, I haven’t seen you around before,” said Laura.

“Yeah, I just got accelerated in my classes.”

“Oh, cool. How’s it been going?”

“Fine, I guess. Has anything interesting happened to you?”

“Not particularly. A few weeks ago we went out for a quick trip to the Moon.”

“The Moon is pretty, though the dust gets everywhere.” Kathryn said.

“You’ve been?” asked Laura.

“Yeah, my dad took us a year or two ago. Of course, Mom and I didn’t get to see too much, but it was still cool to see the planet while stargazing.”

“Mmm.”

The two walked in a comfortable silence for a minute. “We’re there,” said Laura.

Kathryn looked up and saw a beige house, standing two stories tall. It was pretty standard for the area. The two walked up to the front door where Laura tapped in a key code. The two stepped in, leaving their bags by the door.

“Do you want a drink?” Laura asked, stepping over to the replicator.

“Sure. I’ll just take water.”

“Water, three degrees Celsius,” said Laura. A cup glimmered into existence, “Actually, make that two.” Another cup appeared. Laura picked up both cups and carried one over to Kathryn.

“Well, um, I suppose I should get my math stuff out,” said Kathryn.

Laura gave her a long look. “Do you want to?”

“Well, no. Not really.”

Laura laughed. “Neither do I. I suppose it was just easier to ask you about math than to try to be.. friends.”

“And it was easier to agree to math.” Kathryn glanced around the room and noticed a Starfleet jacket sitting on top of a laundry basket. “Which one of your parents is in Starfleet?”

“My mom. She’s in San Francisco at the moment.”

“My dad’s also in San Francisco, though I have no idea what he does.”

“Classified?”

“Yep. I take it you’ve experienced something similar?”

“All the time. She’s in fleet ops, so half the time it’s classified. Sometimes I don’t even know where she is.”

“I hate that. It’s like, oh, hey, your dad could be anywhere in the quadrant, but we can’t tell you where. Also, when your whole family gets invited to dinner or a gala or something and you can’t decline.”

“I haven’t really had that last issue, though it sounds really boring.”

“Oh it definitely can be. You overhear a lot though.”

“Like what?”

“Plans for future operations, you know, usual admiral stuff.”

“Oh, believe me, I hear so much about how hard it is to make course plans when something will inevitably…” Laura was interrupted by a beeping from the monitor.

She walked over, tapping the button to turn it on. A comm appeared. “It’s my mom,” she said, tapping another button to open it. “Apparently,” she said, reading the message, “there’s been some kind of a security threat and that she might be late getting home. I suspect you got the same message.”

Kathryn glanced down at her watch. She hadn’t noticed the alert before, but, sure enough, there was a comm from her dad.

 

_Kathryn,_

_Sorry to interrupt your study session with Laura. I just wanted to let you know there’s been a security threat here. I might be an hour or two late getting home._

_See you soon,_

_Dad_

 

“I got the same thing.” The pair exchanged a glance. They both knew they couldn’t — and shouldn’t — do anything about it, but there was an urge to take action.

Sighing, Laura broke the silence. “We can’t do anything.”

“I know. I’m sure security has taken care of it.”

“Unless this is fake and they’re sending these messages under duress.”

“We can’t go there.” Kathryn started pacing. “It probably has nothing to do with your mom or my dad.”

“Right. Anything could cause this. It’s fine.” The words rang hollow to both of them.

“Maybe we should do the math. It would be a nice distraction.”

“Right. You’re right.” She walked over and grabbed her padds, as did Kathryn.

The two sat down at the kitchen table and started going through the trig functions. The math washed over Kathryn, creating a wall between her and her emotions. Any time her nerves started to flare up, a sine interrupted. When a dark thought snuck in, cosecant was there to take its place.

Far too early, it was time to leave. Kathryn hugged Laura on the way out. “I hope your mom’s ok.”

“I hope your dad is too.” The shared experience had brought them closer, turning acquaintances into friends.


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a really short chapter. Sorry!

“I’m glad everything was fine,” said Kathryn as she and Laura were walking out of math class.

“Me too. It was irrational, but I was.. worried.”

“I know. It’s like you know, there’s absolutely no reason to believe anything’s going to happen, but there’s just the slim chance that it did and that’s all you can focus on.”

Laura pulled Kathryn tight into a hug. Kathryn responding in equal measure. “Kathryn, I think I like you,” she said in the privacy of their tight embrace.

“I think I like you too.” Kathryn thought she saw a tear fall down Laura’s face. “You should come over sometime.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

 

***

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Laura and I are officially dating! It’s.. euphoric. I know we’ll break up soon, but I really really like her/ This is just amazing. I get to spend all day at school thinking about her, looking forward to our next date in eager anticipation. Looking back on it, I can’t believe how easy that was. All I had to do was admit my feelings for her. Even that was remarkably easy, as she shared first._

_I guess in the future it’ll be a lot of after school and weekend stuff. We’ll let our parents think our relationship is purely platonic — less explaining that way — and see each other. We’ll do math together, commiserate about having parents in Starfleet together, and just generally be together._

_Oh — you know how I was concerned about the tennis match? Yeah, well, she doesn’t care that I lost. She seems somewhat concerned that I walked home, though I haven’t quite told her why. That would take more nerve than I have at the moment. Plus I feel like it might damage our fledgling relationship. Ah well._

_Also, I think the counselor has finally said I don’t need to be there. It’s wonderful to have the time — I’m going to need it if I want to see Laura with any frequency. About that, I think we’re scheduled to play tennis together sometime, which should be a lot of fun. I could use the practice, she could use the practice, and I would love to see her._

_On the subject of tennis, I’ve been practicing more. After all, I don’t want a repeat of the last match. I’d love to win just to prove to myself (and Laura) that I can._

_Kathryn_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this story, however, there will be more in the series, and, who knows, Laura might make a return. 😉


End file.
